Eyes & Ears

     I'm a visual and auditory learner - seeing and hearing at the same time is the best way for me to learn and remember stuff. When I was in school, I memorized facts and formulas through music; when I need to remember something at work, I write it down and put the sticky note somewhere I can see it.

     Why am I telling you this? How do we apply this to growing in the Lord? Visuals speak more than words do. "A picture is worth a thousands words" right? A lot of times, I remember Bible verses by hearing or reading them, then writing them down. I have Scriptures all over the place - the walls of my room, my desk at home, my desk at work, hanging in my car, my phone background, the fridge in our kitchen, etc. Seeing them repeatedly reminds me of them and what I see and hear is what I remember. Seeing something and then hearing it is better, so when I see one of the Scriptures, I read it out loud. It's what stays in my head.

"Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.

- Deuteronomy 11:18-21

     God knew a good way for the children of Israel to remember things. He told them to literally put the law in and on their houses, on their clothes and skin, and to talk about them constantly. Does that mean that the Israelites talked about the law of the Lord and nothing else? No... they were humans so I'm pretty sure they talked about other things too. But it was meant to become such an integral part of them, like an essential part of their daily lives.

     So what is in front of your eyes and streaming into your ears? What's influencing you and you might not even realize it? What goes in, comes out. If light and joy and peace and the love of God and the Scriptures are pouring into you, that's what is going to come out of you

~ Abby

Not of fear.

     We as a human race have a problem. We worry. We fear. We worry about finances, jobs, school, family, friends, appearances, etc. We fear the future, changes, decisions. This fear and worry causes us to react a certain way, to treat others and ourselves a certain way. It makes for a world full of anxious, angry, and constantly stressed people... even Christians.
     Alright, why did I write those last two words? Because we do it too: we worry about things just as much as an unbeliever because we're human too. I'll admit it: I can be very fearful, anxious, worried, agitated, nervous, etc. I get this way so easily, but I always have an excuse: "I'm not feeling good." or "It's just my anxiety, leave me alone." These feelings cause me to be unkind or plain mean to people and eventually I realize what I said or did and try to make up for it.
     I worry about money, about the future, about not having something I should (or feel I should) have, about how I look, about my family, about my friends, about people, about our world, our society and culture, the church as a whole, etc.
     I over think little things that do not matter, or analyze a person or action or word so much that it leads to obsession. "This person said this, but what if they didn't mean this, they meant that. How will I figure out which definition of this word they meant? What about their tone of voice or facial expressions? Did I look stupid while they were saying this? What if I made it weird?" I know. Almost worthy of a a slap across my face to get me thinking straight again.

But then God reminded me of something...

I have been given a beautiful and wonderful gift. 

That spirit of fear and anxiety and worry is not a part of me anymore.

I belong to my beloved Jesus.

My Father is making me righteous...

(slowly, but surely)...

which means I can be bold... courageous... fearless.

"I'm no longer a slave to fear,

I am a child of God. (2x)

I am surrounded

By the arms of the Father.

I am surrounded

By songs of deliverance.

We've been liberated

From our bondage.

We're the sons and the daughters

Let us sing our freedom.

You split the sea

So I could walk right through it.

My fears are drowned in perfect love.

You rescued me

And I will stand and sing:

I am a child of God."
(No Longer Slaves, Bethel Music)
   

     Because I am a child of God, I can be bold and strong and determined and confidant and brave and loving and kind and peaceful and joyful and everything else! The Spirit of God is living in me and enabling me to be those things, leading me to a life full of control of my human self, and freedom in Jesus. Wow. Paul wrote to Timothy and said: "...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:6-7, ESV).

     So here are three steps I am starting to take in my life and I hope you will be encouraged to do them yourselves:

1. Recognize that those negative things in your life are real. They are a part of your human state and they are genuine. Jesus knew that we would struggle with worry and fear and He told us what to do about it: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." When we understand and acknowledge that those things are real and are a piece of us, then we can learn to take them to Jesus. (Matthew 11:25-30). Ignoring them or pushing them aside does not help anyone, especially yourself.

2. Take them to Jesus and leave them there. Understand that this is where they need to stay; do not try to take them back and handle it yourself. (This is the hardest part.) Build your foundation on the fact that those things are in God's hands now and not your own. He is with you and is replacing those feelings of worry and fear with ones of courage and Christ-likeness (I don't think that's a word, but you get it.)

"Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed,

for I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand."

(How Firm a Foundation)

3. Embrace the spirit of power and love and grace and self-control and boldness that He gives us instead! Take those things He has given you and utilize them! Use your gifts and talents! Speak out for Him. Do something you have never been brave enough to do! Be bold! Be Spirit-filled and led! Be awesome! Be beautiful! Be incredible! Be who God made you to be!

One of my favorite verses.

     One last thought... He is faithful. He is right there. He gets it. Your Heavenly Father is going to keep His promises to you. It might not be an overnight thing. It might take a long time. It's not something you can just learn and move on. Trust is a continual thing. Letting go can take a long time. Replacing fear and worry and anxiety with courage and peace and joy can take a long time, but hold on. Hold on to the promise of God's faithfulness. 

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering,

for He who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Remember Who you belong to... Be a child of the everlasting, almighty King today!

~ Abby

New year - here we go!

   Dear readers, I'm not dead. I thought I had scheduled this post, but it turns out, I had only saved it in drafts. Please don't hate me. I love you all. Abby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Happy New Year readers! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season. This new year is going to be full of wonderful, new, challenging, and exciting things so jump in head first! Let God give you something new, a dream, an idea, and follow it wholeheartedly!

     It’s a new year. Wohoo! Party time! I am not really the person to make resolutions in the traditional sense, but I did have a few goals that I wanted to accomplish in 2018:

• Be kinder – I have a tendency to let whatever is going on in my life or head to get the better of me and affect the way I treat people. So I’m working on being a nicer, kinder human being: smile more at people, say “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” more, check in with people, listen to comprehend, not to just respond, etc. 

• Study my Bible (not just read it) – I have a tendency to just read something in my Bible or on my Bible app and move on. But this year I want to actually study it. I decided to go through some of the books of the Bible I don’t always read and really study them – I’ve started with Exodus and wow! So much good stuff in there! Maybe I’ll do a post on some of the things I’ve been learning. 

• Drink more water – This one is practical but I’ve been doing pretty good with it and I’m honestly feeling better. It’s kind of weird how just a few more glasses of water a day can have that much of an impact on you, but it’s true. My skin is also clearing up a little so that's a bonus.

• Get more sleep – Who doesn’t need more sleep? I honestly think I’m still catching up from college on my lack of sleep. Okay, I’m probably exaggerating here but sleeping more than 5 hours a night, I feel so much better. I’m averaging 6.5-7.5 hours which might be a little too much, but again, I’m feeling better, not getting as many headaches or migraines, etc. so yay!

• Take my vitamins – Another super practical one and I love it. I take a couple different vitamins for specific things as well as a multi vitamin, and again, I can tell the difference. I take a magnesium supplement a few times a week (I know I should take it every day, but I sometimes forget.), and that has been helping with a lot of the little headaches I get. 

• Journal, read, & write more – This one is in in connection with finishing school: I did a lot of reading and writing as a student but most of it was because I had and it was often something I did not want to read or cared about or a format I had to follow for writing a paper/thesis/etc. This year, I want to read genres I normally would not think about or authors I’ve never heard of and I’ve set a pretty high goal of 100 books in a year… so far I’ve started 3, finished 1. That’s okay too because I also decided that I wasn’t going to make myself finish a book if I didn’t enjoy it, since this is supposed to be enjoyable and not forced. I did enough of that in school (amiright college students?) The writing and journal-ing part is just to get better at expressing myself both in written and spoken format. Plus writing out all your feelings/emotions/reactions is good for the soul. 

• Eat better to be healthy – Okay, this was a reality check for me. I wanted to lose weight because who doesn’t? But I didn’t want that to be the reason I started to eat better because I knew it wouldn’t last. So instead, it became a lifestyle choice. Already eating gluten free, I decided a few months ago to try paleo. I like it. Well, some of it. Some of it was easy and some of it wasn’t. So I’ve compromised and I eat probably 60-70% paleo. I still put half & half or milk in my coffee and I still cook with certain oils or vinegars and I eat certain gluten free things like pasta or an occasional desert. And I still go out with people, but for me, it’s about making conscious decisions about what I’m eating and questioning how that food will make me feel. It’s sometimes hard, but good in the end. And I feel better in general. 

• Keep Christ first. Always. – This one is self- explanatory. Christ first. Always. No matter how hard. No matter what the cost. No matter the sacrifices. No matter who or what I gain or lose. Him first. 

     These a couple of the really practical ones I’m working on, as well as some other more personal and private ones, but what are you going to change this year? What are you doing to improve yourself? What dream has God given you to follow? How are you working on your relationship with Christ and others? What awesome things are you going to do in 2018?!

Abby

JOY

     Happy Christmas Season everyone!

     I keep being reminded to choose joy: from the Tuesday afternoon kids program at church, to my devotions, to my planner, to the decorations at my job... to constantly choose to be joyful, even in the midst of this insane thing called life.

     This is a crazy time of year, but honestly, it is my favorite. I love everything about the holiday season. But it is so easy to get hung up on the "holiday season" - shopping, traffic, nasty people, addressing cards, endless hours of running around, wrapping gifts, gatherings and parties, exhaustion, the credit card bills to follow, the weight gain from all the times you said "Well, just one."

     We get so stuck on all the stuff we dislike that we forget to enjoy it all, even the things that drive us crazy. Sitting in traffic gives you time to listen to more Christmas music; the more cards you address, the more people you can call friends and family; the endless gifts you have to wrap are ways to show people you care about them; all the parties and gatherings, and everything that goes with it, are reminders of how many wonderful people you love and have around you.

     Enjoy this beautiful season. It does not last very long. Appreciate every bit of this holiday time, even the parts you hate. Cherish those special times because the memories will last when those people or traditions are not around anymore.

     At the heart of the season is Jesus. "Jesus is the reason for the season!" The center of Christmas is Christ: the Son of God came down to be a Son of man. To live here and love and save us. Remember that this Christmas season.

     And choose joy.

Here's a question: do you read your Bible every day?

     Do you stand on the Word of God in your life? Is what the Lord says the standard by how you live daily? Here's a basic Sunday school type question: do you read your Bible every day?

     God's been working on me in this way & I have attempted to put in extra effort to actually doing it. Do I read the Word every day? Do I think about what it means and how to apply it? Do I remember it throughout the day? Do I truly believe what the Bible says is true and will not fail? Do I live with the faith that the Word of the Lord is perfect and cannot die?

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.

Matthew 24:35

Forever, O Lord,

Your word is settled in heaven.

Your faithfulness endures to all generations;

You established the earth, and it abides.

They continue this day according to Your ordinances,

For all are Your servants.

Unless Your law had been my delight,

I would then have perished in my affliction.

I will never forget Your precepts,

For by them You have given me life.

I am Yours, save me;

For I have sought Your precepts.

The wicked wait for me to destroy me,

But I will consider Your testimonies.

I have seen the consummation of all perfection,

But Your commandment is exceedingly broad.

Psalm 119:89-96

The voice said, “Cry out!”

And he said, “What shall I cry?”

“All flesh is grass,

And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it;

Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

But the word of our God stands forever.”

Isaiah 40:6-8

Do I live this way? If not, how can I?

~ Abby

I am a failure & disappointment.

     It is so easy to fail and it is so easy to feel like a failure or disappointment. We do it all the time... and honestly? It hurts like a stepping on a bunch of legos when we do. Many people say that failure is just a push to keep going, to reach for success, and that's true, but it still is failure in some way, shape, or form.

     I hate failing. I hate not doing my best or giving something everything I can. I hate when I do give it my all and I still fail. I got an 80 on an assignment during school once and cried because it lowered my grade by 2 points. I got a 90 on a piece of my thesis and I was so angry at myself, never mind anyone else. I fell asleep early one night instead of prepping for Bible hour that week like I should have. I slept past my alarm so I couldn't read my Bible like I had planned. I didn't feel like doing anything so I ignored everything on my to-do list. I gave into a temptation and felt guilty for hours. I was lazy and just watched Netflix for four hours instead of being productive. I would sit at work and not actually work. I didn't help my family, a friend, etc, when I could have easily. Being a disappointment to anyone is a fear I live with constantly.The list goes on and on...

     In one way or another, these were all failures, large or small, on my part. I was a bad Christian, student, friend, sister, daughter, employee, whatever, in those moments. I hate admitting to myself how I much I have failed. I hate showing other people that I have failed because my personality does not want be to do that - perfection is something I am not, nor do I want to appear that way, but I'd rather be imperfect in the "good" ways, instead of the real, honest, non-pretty ones.

     This list of my failures isn't exhaustive, but it is a good starting point. The worst part of it is the feelings after I've realized my mistake or laziness or lack of ____. It is hard to admit to myself more than anyone else that sometimes, I'm not good enough. Actually, I really am not good enough.

But, He is. 

     God is everything I'm not. He is perfect. He does not have failures. He never disappoints. Ever. He does not fail, even when we think He might. When it looks like He has failed or disappointed us, it is really our false expectation of Him. That's on us. But that is why I can lean on Him. My failures make me imperfect and some of those things I might never be able to change because I am human, but every failure is a reminder to trust in Him to not only change those things in me, but to trust in Him when I cannot change the things around me. "... your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48).

     I am not perfect. I will never be perfect on this earth. Accepting that is hard... hard is the wrong word - it is an indisputable, ruthless, unwavering fact that I must not only acknowledge, but accept that I will never be perfect. But not only do I lean on Someone who is, but that Someone will never leave me to try it alone. I will not be in this fight against myself and my sinful nature alone:

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.

What can man do to me?”" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

     I am not attempting to become perfect because I never will be. But I will ask the Lord to make me like Him who is perfect. I may never get there on this earth, but I am going through this world side by side with the One who is. When I fail, He will pick me up and be right there to keep me going. It's not in us to always be pushing ourselves. We cannot be the ones to always help ourselves back up. There is only so much self-motivating I can do before I begin to doubt myself and fail again. That is why I am grateful that I do not rely on myself, but on One who cannot disappoint, who cannot fail, who reminds me to be strong and courageous, to not be afraid or discouraged because He is on my side.

     Take courage today. Our failures do not mean that we are a failure. They are reminders to lean not on our own knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but to continue to trust and depend on our mighty, awesome, incredible Lord.

I'll leave you with these words from a hymn:

Have faith in God, He's on His throne,

Have faith in God, He watches o'er his own.

He cannot fail, He must prevail,

Have faith in God, have faith in God. - B. B. McKinney

~ Abby

It's not just salvation.

   This thought has been going through my heart the last few days... Being a Christian is not about just asking Christ to forgive your sins. Yes, that makes you saved, but you cannot be an example of Christ like we are called to be if you do not follow what the Bible says (Matthew 5:14-16; Psalm 1; James 4:17; Romans 12:1,2). Matthew 6:24 says it like this: No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord]. (Amplified translation)

   Living for Christ should be the first priority in your life, over anything and everything else. Sometimes, we have to give everything up and we don't want to. We like where we live, what we do and say, how we act, who our friends are, our comfortable habits and activities. But that's not what living for God is. It's not just "Well I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 5 so I can do whatever now." Living for Christ is you living as an example of Him to others. Jesus met a young man who wanted to know what he should do to enter into heaven. Here's the story:

Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’” And he answered and said to Him, “Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.” Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.” But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. (Mark 10:17-22)

   We have to make sacrifices. We cannot hold onto the things of this world and still serve the Lord completely. Does this mean that we have to sell everything, live in a shack, and be a missionary in a third-world country? Maybe. Maybe that's what He calls you to do. Maybe He wants you to give up a habit you have, or an activity that takes away your time. Maybe He wants you to stop having certain friends or watching or listening to certain things. Maybe all the free time you spend on your electronics could be sacrificed for something greater. Maybe you need to give more of your time, money, and effort to Christ. Belonging to Him requires an actual sacrifice on our part. We cannot live the way our selfish flesh wants to and still serve Him the way He wants us to. So what's more important to you?

   Sometimes, I feel like this is a topic that is discussed too much and people get tired of hearing it so they tune it out. But listen. If you want to truly, I mean honestly and seriously, live for the Lord and bring glory to His name and be a better witness, try giving something up that you really love. I mean really enjoy doing or saying or whatever. Think about it like this - Jesus gave up everything, the entire universe, Who He was, so that He could come down to this sin-filled, nasty, greedy world and save a bunch of rotten-to-the-core people who abandoned Him and treated Him like the dirt under their feet. Think about that and then look around you - what are you holding on to that you don't want to give up?

...If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me... (Luke 9:23)

   Following Christ isn't easy. People will not like you. They'll wonder why you don't do this or say that, or watch this movie or tv show, or listen to this music. They'll wonder why you're not dating this person or dressing this way or etc., etc., etc. That's the point. In the world but not of it (John 17:14-17). We're not supposed to be like everyone else and that requires something on our part. The Lord isn't going to change you if you don't want to change. 

   Maybe this is something you know God wants you to work on - if so, seek Him more. Maybe this is not something you struggle with but I know I do. My prayer in connection with this thought for myself is this: Lord, help me understand this better in my heart and mind. Strengthen my soul in Yourself and Your Word. Help me to know what I need to give up so all the glory goes to You alone. Through Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Blessings, 

Abby

Life update...

   I have not posted for a while and school isn't even the reason. I don't have a real reason either... lack of inspiration probably. But let me give a two little updates on life...

   Thesis is done! Praise the Lord, hallelujah, and amen!!! Now I'm just waiting for my degree to be approved. All the praise hands 🙌

   Slightly bigger news... Starting November 1st, I will be working full time (at my current job no less!). My job is staying relatively the same, but with some added responsibilities in connection with accounting... it is an accounting firm... I know. I was an English major. But the Lord works in weird, awesome ways and opens doors you didn’t know you were looking for... even if that door has more possible school and lots of numbers behind it.

   Anyway, the plan is to continue writing on here as time allows. If you want consistent updates on my life, you can follow me on Instagram (here) and Pinterest (here)!

~Abby

Verse that has been on my heart lately:
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?  - Psalm 27:1

Happy birthday Dad!

Dad.

     You're not perfect, but you know that. You're not always right, but you know that too. You are a human, full of flaws. But you're still my hero.

     Whenever I think of what to say to you on days like this, I start to cry because I realize there is no way to put into words how thankful I am for you. You constantly show me the importance of God in life; you place family before yourself continually; you are an honest witness, showing Christ's love to everyone; you have the ability to make a situation okay, even if it is not; you are encouraging and supportive, but tough; you are strong, kind, compassionate, thoughtful, and considerate.

"Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

{Joshua 24:14,15}

Dad, thank you.
Happy birthday!
I love you.
Abby

When you're down.

   The enemy knows how to get at you when you're down, when you're already struggling. He's right there to keep pushing you down and away from the Lord. He see you having a tough time and decides to keep shoving until you break.

   This is when you have to get up and push forward. God is not going to give us more than we can handle: "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) Get up and start refocusing your attention onto the Lord and away from the circumstances you find yourself in.

   In case anyone needs some ideas, here is a short list of a couple of the things I do to help in these types of situations:

• Read my Bible and write out Bible verses. 
• Walk around with my Bible in my hand and pray Bible verses over people and/or situations.
• (Joshua 1:5-9, Nehemiah 8: 9-10, Psalm 25, 34, 66, 91, 123, 124, 141, John 16:25-33, Ephesians 6:10-20, James 1:12-18, 1 John 4:1-6 are some of my favorites.)
• Put on some hymns or praise music.
• Get on my knees and pray.
• Talk to the Lord wherever I am.

   The point is for you to connect with God; this is not the time to sit back and let the devil win. Don't give up the fight because it feels too hard. The Lord will be on your side. He does not change. Lean on Him every step of the way.

Abby

My heart is so full!

I made it up to camp for 18 hours. Within 26(ish) hours, Mom and I drove up there, surprised a bunch of people including my Dad and sister Elizabeth, sat in a wonderful meeting, ate camp food, celebrated the 4th of July, and drove home. But it is amazing what 18 hours on those grounds can do.

Panoramic view of the lake from Watch Rock
Brant Lake, NY

I was reminded of how much God loves me. Insignificant, full of doubts, usually stressed, freaking out, loud and sometimes obnoxious, small me. 

Let me share some context here... I try to only show the "good stuff" about me. I try to always be positive. I try to always put other people first. I try to always be praying and encouraging other people. I try to stay happy and upbeat, sharing smiley faces and Bible verses. 

But that's not me probably 70% of the time if I'm being really honest.

Sometimes, I am mean and selfish. Sometimes, I ignore people. Sometimes, I say terrible things. Sometimes, I am impatient and nasty. Sometimes, I am jealous and inconsiderate. Sometimes, I am lazy and stubborn. Sometimes, I am thoughtless and gullible.

I doubt myself. I doubt other people. I stress over things I cannot change. I stress over things I can change. I am overemotional. I am critical, mostly of myself. I am often negative. I am often discouraged. I am often angry. I am often feeling lost or abandoned. I often let the bad thoughts take over.

But God loves me.

In spite of all of those awful things about myself, God loves me. God loves me because of who He is. God loves me because He wants me. 

The Maker of the universe, the Creator of heaven and earth, the Mighty Savior of the entire world, the Alpha and Omega, the Sovereign King, the Living Truth, the Three-In-One, the gracious Provider, the Holy Comforter, the eternal, loving, just, glorious, merciful, patient, righteous, forgiving, amazing, powerful, understanding, good, wise, faithful, infinite, unchanging, Lord of all, 

loves me. 

WHAT?!

I can doubt it. I can question it. I can wrestle with it. I can fight it. It's not going to change. No matter my reaction, He is not going to change and He is going to love little me.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 3:16 & 17

But God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent

His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent

His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 

1 John 4:9 & 10

Many Christians already know this and have already come to understand how wonderful this is and I don't want people to think that I didn't know God loves me or that I have not accepted Him into my heart and life, but for me... this was a moment. Adonai, Elohim, Jehovah loves me and I cannot ignore it. He stands there with wide-open arms, waiting for me to accept this gift of love. 

So now I have three choices: I can walk away from all of this completely; I can accept it and go on with my life like nothing has changed; or... I can allow this knowledge to change me.

Walking away is not an option. Leaving my Christian walk, no matter how hard it gets, it not a choice. Accepting God's love and not allowing it to change me doesn't seem to make much sense. But that third option? Do I want my life to be changed? Absolutely. I want this undeniable, unchanging fact of God's love to permeate my heart and completely transform me, mind, body, and soul.

Will it solve all my problems? Will it make all my decisions easy? Will it make me happy and positive all the time? Nope. 

But it will make me different because I cannot ignore the unwavering fact that He loves me. My Father sees a woman seeking after Him and His will no matter what the cost. I'm not perfect, but I know He is making me into His perfection. I'm a work in progress. I'm getting there and by His grace, mercy, and love, I will continue to reach for that in my life.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; 

but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which 

Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Philippians 3:12

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,

which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

My challenge to you is this: accept God's love for you. He sent His Son to die because of little you. Don't ignore that gift because you're scared or you don't understand it. 

Poetry page...

     I have a few posts in the work, but I wanted to drop a note saying that I have added a few new poems to that page which you can find right here! I do have finals beginning at the end of this week so I'll have a few posts up after Memorial Day weekend. In the meantime, check out the above and enjoy the upcoming holiday!
~Abby

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord, O my soul!

While I live I will praise the Lord;

I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

Do not put your trust in princes,

Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help.

His spirit departs, he returns to his earth;

In that very day his plans perish.

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,

Whose hope is in the Lord his God,

Who made heaven and earth,

The sea, and all that is in them;

Who keeps truth forever,

Who executes justice for the oppressed,

Who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord gives freedom to the prisoners.

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind;

The Lord raises those who are bowed down;

The Lord loves the righteous.

The Lord watches over the strangers;

He relieves the fatherless and widow;

But the way of the wicked He turns upside down.

The Lord shall reign forever—

Your God, O Zion, to all generations.

Praise the Lord!

{Psalm 146}

A Goodbye Letter

     It's been a little over two months since we had to put our dog Lady down and I'm finally able to share this without crying... well, crying a lot I should say. To those who have never had to say goodbye to a pet, it might seem a little silly, but to those who have, you know. I wrote this that night.

I said goodbye to one of the only friends who's stuck around always.
None of the annoying things you did seem to matter anymore. 

You were there when I needed a distraction.
You always knew how to make me smile through all my tears.
You were a silent friend I could talk to and dance around. 

You were everything a dog should be and more -
thank you for being one of my best friends in the world.

There will not be a day that goes by that I will not think of you in some small way.
I love you forever.
Thank you for being what I needed and much more.

Rest peacefully my dear puppy.
You will always hold a special portion of my heart.

I love you Lady.

Abby

I'm alive...

   I've been absent for a while: between school, tax season at work, and everything else, it was a crazy busy few months but I hope to be updating like regular again. So this was just a little note to say "Hi!" and "I'm not dead!"

I will update soon!

~Abby

PS - I added to my poem page, which you can check out here!

Jesus & Others

     God put this thought in my heart today: we're not here to serve ourselves. It's Jesus first. It's others second. There's a church song that I've taught to the kids: "Jesus and Others and You, what a wonderful way to spell joy!" If you want true joy, you have to put a few other things ahead of yourself.

     Jesus never put Himself first: His entire life was about others. Obviously, we cannot get to this level because we're not God, and we will never be perfect, but Jesus is our example.We should strive to put Him first and others before ourselves.

     Today, I could feel this ringing in my heart. It is something I need to work on, and I'm beginning to see that it isn't overnight. I'm not going to become less self-centered overnight. But if I continue to ask the Lord for His help, He is faithful and will continue to change me.

     So as you read this little piece of my heart today, be blessed and try to do something that would put someone else ahead of yourself. Maybe this quote from Oswald Chambers will help to inspire you: "Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things – things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him."

~ Abby

Do we do this?

     This thought keeps running through my head - "...encourage one another and build one another up..." How often are we actually encouraging each other? Do we build each other up? It is one thing to have an open ear and be a shoulder to cry on, but do we ever take it to the next step? Do we earnestly push each other to continue in our relationship with Christ?

     We're a family. If someone you love is hurting, we want them to feel better, to move forward. Why are we not always like that with our fellow Christians? You don't have to be this way for every person you come across - we cannot be that for everyone in our circles, but we can be that encouragement for a few. Pick a few. Be that builder-up. Text them that Bible verse. Call them up and check on their walk with God. Pray for them. Send a note of encouragement. You never know who needs that little extra push today.

~ Abby

Salt.

   Salt and Light. This thought has been in my head the last few days. We are not called to shine our light in this world, but rather, we are called to reflect His light. In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, Jesus talks about us being salt and light. As His followers, it is not about us, but rather about Him.

   Normally, I'm not a fan of the Message interpretation, but I liked how this passage was worded: "Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage." {Matthew 5:13, The Message}

   Salt enhances and brings out flavors in food. As Christians, we should enhance God's presence around us, bringing the focus to Him and His goodness. If we are not seeking God, we begin to lose our saltiness. If we lose our saltiness, we begin to lose our witness. We're still Christians and we still love God and we still love others, but when we stop searching for more of Jesus, other parts of our lives start overshadowing His light in our lives. The potency of the salt begins to fade. 

   In order for our salt and light to be effective, we have to look for the One who makes us salt and light.

   Strive to be more "salty and light-filled" for God today.
~ Abby

My God, My Shelter

I read this verse yesterday. It's actually my phone background and it just hit me when I saw it.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower;

The righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

Two quick thoughts: I love that it's "The name of the Lord". Sometimes, we can get so caught up in the big fancy words of a prayer when all we need to remember is the name of our God. That does not mean that we should not pray those heartfelt cries of our hearts, but remember that sometimes, all we need to say is His name. Tagging along with this is the second thought: it's a strong tower, a refuge, a stronghold. As Christians, we can run to that place and hide when we need to. He keeps us safe when we turn to him.

Remember that. God is our haven, our cave of protection, our hiding place. He is there for us to turn to when we need it.

~Abby

Still Grateful.

Author's Note: I thought this had published back in December but it was still saved in my drafts. Enjoy it now as a reminder to continue to be thankful! 

   I know, it's December 1st and I did not finish my November grateful challenge! My only excuse is that I had finals, then a week off for Thanksgiving which was packed with craziness, then my next semester began. I sincerely apologize! I took the last thankfulness questions and answered them below and then I will share what December holds!

Day 14: What sight are you grateful for?
   A bit cliche, but definitely a sunset, especially when there are clouds in the sky that create shadows and shades across the sky.

Day 15: What season are you grateful for?
   Fall or Winter. I love fall because of the cooler air, crunchy, fallen leaves, Thanksgiving, etc., and I love winter because of long, cold nights cuddled on my couch with my little puppy, snow, snow, and snow (!), the hot drinks during the warm car rides, Christmas, etc.

Day 16: What about your body are you grateful for?
   This one is hard to answer without sounding a little conceited I think, but I like my smile.

Day 17: What knowledge are you grateful for?
   I am thankful that I can continually expand my knowledge of my Savior. Also since I love to learn about history and literature, I am thankful for that knowledge too.

Day 18: What piece of art are you grateful for?
   This is hard to choose one, but I'll go with one of the first ones that popped into my head: "View of Toledo" by El Greco. I've seen this painting several times at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and the use of shadows, depth, and colors have always amazed me. I've seen several of his other paintings there and they are striking as well.

   There is one other painting that I remember seeing and it almost brought me to tears: Rembrandt's "Christ on the Cross." This is one of those paintings that needs no description.







Day 19: What touch are you grateful for?
   This one is a little weird: I love touching the cover on my steering wheel. It's soft and fuzzy and warms my hands.

Day 20: Who in your life are you grateful for?
   My pastor. He preaches with with heart, sharing the Word of God, guided by the Holy Spirit. I have come to realize just how important it is to have a minister like this and I am extremely grateful.

Day 21: What song are you most grateful for?
   Lately, it's been Natalie Grant's "King of the World." It seems to be extremely fitting over the last few weeks in our nation and in my life. Click here to watch the lyric video.

Day 22: What story are you grateful for?
     The Bible. Hands down.

Day 23: What tradition are you grateful for?
     Thanksgiving morning. My family. Pajamas. Cinnamon rolls. Thanksgiving parade.

Day 24: What challenge are you grateful for?
     To drink more water. I know that's weird but I've been feeling so much better since I've been drinking more water.

Day 25: What moment this week are you most grateful for?
     I realized that in less than a year, I will be done with my bachelor's degree. That was exciting for me.

Day 26: What form of expression are you most grateful for?
     Writing. Poetry. Music. Photography.


Day 27: What small thing that you use daily are you grateful for?
     My coffee maker! I drink way more coffee than I should but I'm thankful for it and all my mugs. I have a mug addiction.

Day 28: What small thing happened today that you are grateful for?
     I made it to work a little earlier than normal. Small I know.

Day 29: What friend/family member are you grateful for today?
     My parents. They have become such good friends to me and they're more than just parents now. I trust them with basically all my problems and they are right there with advice and support.

Day 30: What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?
   Definitely being able to play the piano. I don't get to play as often as I would like, but I love it. Playing in church every Sunday night is a good time to get in some practice. I know I mentioned this one already previously, but it's one I'm especially grateful for.


~Abby

Grateful: Day 13

What abilities are you grateful for?

   Well, today especially, I am thankful for my ability to play piano. Our church piano was just tuned this week and it sounded incredibly beautiful as I played in the evening service. No twangy keys or squeaky pedals, just lovely notes.
   I am also thankful for my ability to write. I know I let my writing on here slide a bit, but it is not because I want to... but when you write assignments, discussion posts, lessons, and notes all the time, your brain begins to fry. But I am thankful for my ability to write, even when I get frustrated with myself while doing it.

So what abilities are you thankful for today?
~ Abby