Brokenness.

   How is it already the end of January?! My apologies for not posting in the last few weeks: work is beginning to get busy thanks to the upcoming tax season, I had very little break during the holidays from my four classes so I was catching up with them, plus I had midterms for a few of the classes last week, my mom had minor surgery on her hand, etc., etc., etc.. You all know how crazy life can get just when you think it can't get any busier. Anyway... 

   I wanted to share a thought that I had a few weeks ago. Scars are not pretty, but scars are a part of your story. Physical or emotional, visible or hidden, they are there. We all have them, but what we choose to do with them is up to us. They can remind us of how terrible things were and how broken we felt, but they can also show God's incredible love, mercy, and grace for bringing you through.

   Mandisa is one of my favorite Christian artists, and her album 'Overcomer' has become a huge blessing recently as I have been listening to it again. Her song "What Scars Are For" actually triggered the above thought in my head. Hearing the song and actually paying attention to the words are two different things and I actually listened to the words recently... Whoa. The chorus is below.

"They remind me of Your faithfulness

And all You brought me through.

They teach me that my brokenness

Is something You can use.

They show me where I’ve been and

That I’m not there any more,

That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for."

   That chorus hit me like a train at full speed: being so broken that there is no where else to run to, no one else to turn to but God. Wow. Psalm 51:14-17 says this:

"Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,

The God of my salvation,

And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,

And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and a contrite heart—

These, O God, You will not despise."

   Not only do we feel broken, but we feel guilty and empty. What can I offer God when I have nothing in me? There is nothing left for my family, my friends, myself, so what could I possibly give to Him? Here's the thing. He wants your brokenness. He wants the emptiness of your soul. He wants you when you have nothing left to give. We question why anyone would want us when we are like that but it's what God does. He takes those shattered pieces of our lives and begins to mold them into something that He can use to show His faithfulness and grace. 

   Hopefully, my point was made, but if not, here it is in a nutshell: God wants the broken bits of you to bring glory to His name. Remember that when you have nothing, He is everything. 

~ Abby

2016... Knowing Him.

   How was everyone’s Christmas and New Years? The week of Christmas was ridiculously busy, but in a good way. I had my company’s Christmas luncheon the same day my sister and I had our annual Christmas party! (Pictures to follow.) Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were both quiet and peaceful spent with friends and family and I was even able to get a bit of homework done Christmas evening. A few days before the new year, I was sick with some sort of 24-hour stomach bug and thankfully, I’m beginning to feel better. I’m still a little achy and tired, but overall, much better.

   The year ended on a good note: our college Sunday school class was able to get together for breakfast on New Year’s Eve which was wonderful. We don’t get to spend a lot of time together because so many are busy with jobs, school, or live out of state. But I’m so thankful that we were able to spend some time together. Later that afternoon, my best friend, whom I haven’t seen since the end of July (!!!), drove up from down south and spent New Year’s with me! Finally able to catch up in person and share things that happened in the last five months was incredible, and then we ended the year at my church, taking part in Holy Communion right at midnight. There is nothing like beginning the new year with God.

   Our church’s verse for this year is just the first five words of Philippians 3:10… “that I may know Him…” Our pastor said how, yes we want to know about our God and that in itself is marvelous, but our goal, our resolution, should be to not just know about Him, but to actually know Him. It struck me how I may know Bible facts, I may know characters and stories from the Bible, but how much do I truly know Him?

   Personally, I do not make resolutions, mainly because I have no confidence in myself to keep them. I’ve gone two, maybe three weeks keeping my goals and then I fall off the wagon. As people kept asking me what I was going to do in the new year, I began to think of this year and how many times I failed to turn to the Lord when I should have. Then, someone out of the blue asked what my favorite Bible verse was… of course, there are tons, how could I choose?! I was reminded of the Scripture that I have been given several times over the last eight or nine years of my life.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk, and not faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31

   Patience is not one of my strong points (not sure if it ever will be). But my promise for 2016 is to turn to Him in those moments when I cannot handle anything else. When this world becomes too overwhelming and I feel myself falling, I can turn for one more ounce of strength, one more ounce of faith, to my Father. This world does not offer a remedy to those moments and situations, all they can give is a temporary fix, a distraction. But, my God can offer the solution: HIMSELF ALONE. So that became my promise to myself: in my moments of panic, distress, loss of trust, worry, stress, I will take the time to pause, give Him everything, and wait on Him.

   I pray that if you make resolutions, you are able to keep them with God’s help and that you, my dear readers, will grow closer to our Lord. Take time this year to actually know our Creator. Not just know about Him (which is awesome!), but to know Him.

May you be blessed in 2016!

~Abby

(There was no copyright with the picture, but I wanted to note that it is not mine.)