I am a failure & disappointment.

     It is so easy to fail and it is so easy to feel like a failure or disappointment. We do it all the time... and honestly? It hurts like a stepping on a bunch of legos when we do. Many people say that failure is just a push to keep going, to reach for success, and that's true, but it still is failure in some way, shape, or form.

     I hate failing. I hate not doing my best or giving something everything I can. I hate when I do give it my all and I still fail. I got an 80 on an assignment during school once and cried because it lowered my grade by 2 points. I got a 90 on a piece of my thesis and I was so angry at myself, never mind anyone else. I fell asleep early one night instead of prepping for Bible hour that week like I should have. I slept past my alarm so I couldn't read my Bible like I had planned. I didn't feel like doing anything so I ignored everything on my to-do list. I gave into a temptation and felt guilty for hours. I was lazy and just watched Netflix for four hours instead of being productive. I would sit at work and not actually work. I didn't help my family, a friend, etc, when I could have easily. Being a disappointment to anyone is a fear I live with constantly.The list goes on and on...

     In one way or another, these were all failures, large or small, on my part. I was a bad Christian, student, friend, sister, daughter, employee, whatever, in those moments. I hate admitting to myself how I much I have failed. I hate showing other people that I have failed because my personality does not want be to do that - perfection is something I am not, nor do I want to appear that way, but I'd rather be imperfect in the "good" ways, instead of the real, honest, non-pretty ones.

     This list of my failures isn't exhaustive, but it is a good starting point. The worst part of it is the feelings after I've realized my mistake or laziness or lack of ____. It is hard to admit to myself more than anyone else that sometimes, I'm not good enough. Actually, I really am not good enough.

But, He is. 

     God is everything I'm not. He is perfect. He does not have failures. He never disappoints. Ever. He does not fail, even when we think He might. When it looks like He has failed or disappointed us, it is really our false expectation of Him. That's on us. But that is why I can lean on Him. My failures make me imperfect and some of those things I might never be able to change because I am human, but every failure is a reminder to trust in Him to not only change those things in me, but to trust in Him when I cannot change the things around me. "... your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48).

     I am not perfect. I will never be perfect on this earth. Accepting that is hard... hard is the wrong word - it is an indisputable, ruthless, unwavering fact that I must not only acknowledge, but accept that I will never be perfect. But not only do I lean on Someone who is, but that Someone will never leave me to try it alone. I will not be in this fight against myself and my sinful nature alone:

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.

What can man do to me?”" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

     I am not attempting to become perfect because I never will be. But I will ask the Lord to make me like Him who is perfect. I may never get there on this earth, but I am going through this world side by side with the One who is. When I fail, He will pick me up and be right there to keep me going. It's not in us to always be pushing ourselves. We cannot be the ones to always help ourselves back up. There is only so much self-motivating I can do before I begin to doubt myself and fail again. That is why I am grateful that I do not rely on myself, but on One who cannot disappoint, who cannot fail, who reminds me to be strong and courageous, to not be afraid or discouraged because He is on my side.

     Take courage today. Our failures do not mean that we are a failure. They are reminders to lean not on our own knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but to continue to trust and depend on our mighty, awesome, incredible Lord.

I'll leave you with these words from a hymn:

Have faith in God, He's on His throne,

Have faith in God, He watches o'er his own.

He cannot fail, He must prevail,

Have faith in God, have faith in God. - B. B. McKinney

~ Abby

It's not just salvation.

   This thought has been going through my heart the last few days... Being a Christian is not about just asking Christ to forgive your sins. Yes, that makes you saved, but you cannot be an example of Christ like we are called to be if you do not follow what the Bible says (Matthew 5:14-16; Psalm 1; James 4:17; Romans 12:1,2). Matthew 6:24 says it like this: No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord]. (Amplified translation)

   Living for Christ should be the first priority in your life, over anything and everything else. Sometimes, we have to give everything up and we don't want to. We like where we live, what we do and say, how we act, who our friends are, our comfortable habits and activities. But that's not what living for God is. It's not just "Well I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 5 so I can do whatever now." Living for Christ is you living as an example of Him to others. Jesus met a young man who wanted to know what he should do to enter into heaven. Here's the story:

Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’” And he answered and said to Him, “Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.” Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.” But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. (Mark 10:17-22)

   We have to make sacrifices. We cannot hold onto the things of this world and still serve the Lord completely. Does this mean that we have to sell everything, live in a shack, and be a missionary in a third-world country? Maybe. Maybe that's what He calls you to do. Maybe He wants you to give up a habit you have, or an activity that takes away your time. Maybe He wants you to stop having certain friends or watching or listening to certain things. Maybe all the free time you spend on your electronics could be sacrificed for something greater. Maybe you need to give more of your time, money, and effort to Christ. Belonging to Him requires an actual sacrifice on our part. We cannot live the way our selfish flesh wants to and still serve Him the way He wants us to. So what's more important to you?

   Sometimes, I feel like this is a topic that is discussed too much and people get tired of hearing it so they tune it out. But listen. If you want to truly, I mean honestly and seriously, live for the Lord and bring glory to His name and be a better witness, try giving something up that you really love. I mean really enjoy doing or saying or whatever. Think about it like this - Jesus gave up everything, the entire universe, Who He was, so that He could come down to this sin-filled, nasty, greedy world and save a bunch of rotten-to-the-core people who abandoned Him and treated Him like the dirt under their feet. Think about that and then look around you - what are you holding on to that you don't want to give up?

...If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me... (Luke 9:23)

   Following Christ isn't easy. People will not like you. They'll wonder why you don't do this or say that, or watch this movie or tv show, or listen to this music. They'll wonder why you're not dating this person or dressing this way or etc., etc., etc. That's the point. In the world but not of it (John 17:14-17). We're not supposed to be like everyone else and that requires something on our part. The Lord isn't going to change you if you don't want to change. 

   Maybe this is something you know God wants you to work on - if so, seek Him more. Maybe this is not something you struggle with but I know I do. My prayer in connection with this thought for myself is this: Lord, help me understand this better in my heart and mind. Strengthen my soul in Yourself and Your Word. Help me to know what I need to give up so all the glory goes to You alone. Through Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Blessings, 

Abby

Jesus & Others

     God put this thought in my heart today: we're not here to serve ourselves. It's Jesus first. It's others second. There's a church song that I've taught to the kids: "Jesus and Others and You, what a wonderful way to spell joy!" If you want true joy, you have to put a few other things ahead of yourself.

     Jesus never put Himself first: His entire life was about others. Obviously, we cannot get to this level because we're not God, and we will never be perfect, but Jesus is our example.We should strive to put Him first and others before ourselves.

     Today, I could feel this ringing in my heart. It is something I need to work on, and I'm beginning to see that it isn't overnight. I'm not going to become less self-centered overnight. But if I continue to ask the Lord for His help, He is faithful and will continue to change me.

     So as you read this little piece of my heart today, be blessed and try to do something that would put someone else ahead of yourself. Maybe this quote from Oswald Chambers will help to inspire you: "Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things – things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him."

~ Abby

Salt.

   Salt and Light. This thought has been in my head the last few days. We are not called to shine our light in this world, but rather, we are called to reflect His light. In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, Jesus talks about us being salt and light. As His followers, it is not about us, but rather about Him.

   Normally, I'm not a fan of the Message interpretation, but I liked how this passage was worded: "Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage." {Matthew 5:13, The Message}

   Salt enhances and brings out flavors in food. As Christians, we should enhance God's presence around us, bringing the focus to Him and His goodness. If we are not seeking God, we begin to lose our saltiness. If we lose our saltiness, we begin to lose our witness. We're still Christians and we still love God and we still love others, but when we stop searching for more of Jesus, other parts of our lives start overshadowing His light in our lives. The potency of the salt begins to fade. 

   In order for our salt and light to be effective, we have to look for the One who makes us salt and light.

   Strive to be more "salty and light-filled" for God today.
~ Abby

An Ephesians 2:19-22 Blessing

Sorry for my absence on here. Last week my grandma was rushed to the hospital for multiple things, so our household was a bit "topsy-turvy" this past week. But thank the Lord, she is at a rehab center slowly improving! But this post isn't about that. This is something I wrote recently and I felt lead to share it with all my readers.

"19 Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit." -Ephesians 2:19-22

You are part of a family & a kingdom. The family of God. Nothing you have done can change that. What really matters is not the choices you've made, but the child of God you are. This song, "You are More", by Tenth Avenue North tells us that our decisions of the past do not define us... we have been forgiven by our Rock, by our Savior. AND, because of that, we are now part of a loving family and we are part of the Lord's kingdom What a wonderful promise this is! 

In the next section,  the Bible tells us that we, the family of God, have a foundation of the prophets, the Bible. We stand firm on the promises of God in the Scripture! The chorus of an old hymn say this: 

      

"Standing, standing, 

standing on the promises of Christ my Savior; 

standing, standing, 

I'm standing on the promises of God!" 

R. Kelso Carter

Another song says this: 

"How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord, 

is laid for your faith in his excellent word! 

What more can he say than to you he hath said, 

to you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?" 

"K" in Rippon's A Selection of Hymns

Isn't is marvelous that we stand on the promises of our Savior? He is our Rock, our Fortress, our Shepherd, our Lord! He is the cornerstone that we as a family of God, and as individuals, can put our trust and faith in.

The last verse says that we are being built together to be a dwelling place for God. Our bodies are a temple. We as a group are a temple of God. In 1 Corinthians 6:19, it says "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" When we are saved, we are no longer our own. We have the Almighty God living inside us, we belong to Him! 

One last song, I promise: 

"Know ye not, know ye not ye are the temple?

Know ye not, know ye not ye are the temple?

Know ye not, know ye not ye are the temple?

Ye are the temple of the Holy Ghost!"

I don't know where that's from, but I remember singing it in church years ago. What a faithful reminder that we are the temple of God! 

So my main points: 1) We are part of a family and a kingdom. We accept each other, we help each other, we love each other. 2) We are founded on Christ and the promises we find in Scripture. Trust in them. Keep them close to your hearts. 3)We are a temple! We have our Lord living inside us, helping us, loving us, teaching us.

Thank God today! Thank Him for everything that He has done for us! Thank Him for your salvation, for His love, for His promises, and for the family that you are a part of!

A rainbow, one of the promises of God.

I hope that this little thought blessed you as it did me!

Blessings, 

~Abby

God is right here...

Hey!
I haven't posted like I hoped last week! So sorry! Life gets crazy real quick...

Just something quick... I've learned this past week that distance doesn't separate us from God. He's right then when you ask Him. Isn't that awesome? Simple, yet we often find it super hard to understand. Thank God that He is patient with us!

Blessings,
~Abby

Home from Camp!

Greetings! 

I haven't posted in forever... I was a camp!!! I'm finally getting back into my schedule. This last week I had my first full week at my new job. And I was all by myself! The other woman in the office who does kind of the same thing I do was on vacation so I was all alone. And I made it through! God is good.

I just want to share a few thoughts from the time I had at camp. The theme was worship. What a great theme! Our meetings were wonderful. God really came and met us all individually and as a group! I am so thankful for what He did for me personally. I went to camp with a huge burden. I could not seem to get rid of it even though the situation that was connected had disappeared. I tried numerous times on my own, but I needed to truly realize that I couldn't not do it by myself. Letting go of the entire problem, I opened myself and in His mercy, God took it all away! That's one of the lessons I learned while I was up there. We feel like we need to handle it all when in reality, Jesus wants us to open our hearts and give it to Him. Truly give it to Him. Only then can He give us true peace. 



I had a fantastic time! My staff in housekeeping was amazing. Andrea, Sarah, & Kristen all worked hard and we had a good time together. I want to thank God very specifically for Andrea. We roomed together! She, without realizing it half the time, was such a great encouragement to me. Her amazing Christian walk was so obvious to everyone. She blessed me more than she will ever know!

I loved all the staff- we worked together very well and we had a good time too! Love you all!

Left to Right: Kristen, Sarah, Andrea, Abby
Photo By Andrea Dai

 

Blessings,

Abby

 

PS - I will post like normal starting again this week!





Encouragement

Hi all! A few words to update and encourage!

Our homeschooling convention went better than we hoped! Yeah! God is so god to those who put their trust in Him! ~Psalm 78:7~

I went to Pilgrim camp for Memorial Day Weekend. I worked hard, saw many old friends, and was blessed by the meetings!

I feel like I need to say this again. God is just so awesome! When you think you can't handle anymore, God is right there for you. He never gives us anything we cannot handle. He is there through it all. It doesn't feel like that all the time. We feel like no one is there and that is far from the truth. GOD IS THERE. He's with you at school, home, work, in your car, etc. ALWAYS. I'm still learning this truth. Believe me, I don't have it all down pat. I can't give you steps 1, 2, & 3 and the problem will go away. But, most the most important thing is to realize that HE is there. HE is right beside you, and sometimes, He's carrying you through. If you can accept that fact, such a peace will cover you and the situation may not get better; in fact, it might get worse. BUT you will have peace, knowing that it's all under the blood!

Here are two songs that have been encouraging me recently.  

"Through it all,

 through it all,

 I've learned to trust in Jesus,

 I've learned to trust in God.

 Through it all,

 through it all,

 I've learned to depend upon His Word." - Andrae Crouch

"His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again." - Annie Flint

Meditate today on the fact that God is carrying you "Through it all!"

Blessings!

~Abby

PS - Prayer Requests: 1) My mom - she is having some health issues that require lots of prayer! 2) A friend's mom had a heart attack last Friday and she had an operation and appears to be doing fine, praise God! Please pray for her recovery. 3) A dear friend is in the army right now. He is in basic training in Oklahoma (unaffected by the tornadoes) but please pray that He grows spiritually even more! 4) The people that were affected by the tornadoes in Oklahoma! For peace and comfort for all involved!

Learn

Working, writing, school, reading, learning, laughing, living.

Learning to depend on God's will is the hardest thing that I am learning right now. Allowing HIM to guide every step I take.

"Only trust Him."

Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day. ~ Psalm 25:4,5

Random thoughts...

        I wrote this on the train on Wednesday night but I had no way to post it. I hope you enjoy and I will be posting something about my trip, with some pictures, once I can!

 

          Today on the train going home, I saw two clouds. One was a vibrant, bright, and rich orange color, from the opposite sunset. Quite close to it was a dark, stormy, dreary cloud. They both had these pieces, ends if you will, that almost touched. It looked as if two fingers were reaching, stretching to touch. It reminded me of that beautiful painting on the Sistine Chapel in Italy; perhaps you know about what I’m speaking about. In this unforgettable painting on the ceiling, there is one scene that, I consider the most cherished and valued. God is extending His arm, His fingers trying to seize ours. The man, however, is not so eager: his arm is slightly up and reaching, but not as desperate; he doesn’t see it as precious, what he could have.

           I recalled from this simple illustration how the Lord desires to have a relationship with us as His children and also, of how many times we have neglected and ignored His pleas to become closer. The Lord continues to reach out to us even if we ignore Him and His calling. May we become more sensitive to His calling in our lives, and strive to accomplish what He desires us to. 

See you soon!

~Abby