Friday, December 18, 2015

Not a mistake.



     When I went through some of those dark times this year, (see post from December 10th here), one of the thoughts that I struggled with a lot was feeling that I was meaningless, worthless, and a mistake. These feelings came at times when I did not have control over something or I was unable to change a situation, when I messed up an assignment for school, or caused a problem with something at work. I am not sharing this to look for sympathetic comments, but to share how the Lord helped me overcome these thoughts.

Psalm 139. Wow.

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
  even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!
O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
    Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
    your enemies misuse your name.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
    Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
    for your enemies are my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.      Psalm 139 (NLT)

     Verse 16 in this translation is absolutely beautiful -

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

     I cannot begin to describe how much this verse helped me. How could I have no meaning when God planned out every moment of my life?! It still boggles my mind that the Creator of the universe, Savior of every single person of the world took the time to think about little me. I believe this will always be something that caused me to wonder at the awesomeness of our God. 

     Those thoughts, that storm I was struggling through, God knew about that before He created our world, before I was even a thought. He saw me and calmed that storm within me. "Thank You, Lord," doesn't seem like enough, but Lord, thank You. 

~ Abby

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Busy & Blessed

     It's the most hectic, crazy time right now and not just because of the Christmas season... I realized that when people ask me how I am, I always say busy. I've been saying "Good, busy, you?" for probably the last five years of my life. Maybe it's the just this time in my life, between being involved at church, college, trying to have a little bit of social life, and everything else. Honestly, I'm one of those people who need to be busy because otherwise I am incredibly lazy. So yes, while it's exhausting, I don't think I could not be busy. But that's when this passage comes in as a great encouragement:

Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. ~ Galatians 6:6-10

     While I do not always want to be this busy, maybe this is God telling me that while I can, I need to use this time for Him. Yes, I get stressed out over it all at times, but honestly since I have been listening to the Lord's voice more and more over the lat few months, the busyness and stress has a point. It's not just me making myself crazy. I have this time and I have to use it wisely.

~ Abby


Saturday, December 12, 2015

A Little Lesson

     As I lie on my kitchen floor writing a paper for my Music History class, I stop and think. Getting overwhelmed by homework and assignments and reading is easy for me to do. But the Lord put it on my heart that one of the reasons I've struggled with this is because I rely on myself too much. With that in mind, I'm working on this, and I have been asking the Lord to give me His wisdom and peace. He gave me this verse:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.
His praise endures forever.
~Psalm 111:10

     When I take the time to seek out who this God I serve truly is, I can find that wisdom. I can begin to understand His commands and truths. I am truly thankful that the Lord takes the time to show us these little lessons. 

~Abby

Friday, December 11, 2015

"There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold..."

Two posts in two days?! Wow. So far, so good! :)

     Steven Curtis Chapman has written some wonderful songs in the last several years that have been an incredible blessing in my life. This one,  "The Glorious Unfolding", is no different. I remember hearing it when It was firs released and I thought it was nice, but nothing else. When I heard the song yesterday, I really listened to the words and wow.

Here is the first verse:
   "Lay your head down tonight
   Take a rest from the fight
   Don’t try to figure it out
   Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
   ‘Cause I know this is not
   Anything like you thought
   The story of your life was gonna be
   And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
   But it’s just not true
   There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold..." 

     Life does not usually turn out the way we want it to. In fact, it rarely does. Situations and people change, and that busy, always moving, always changing environment takes a toll on us. This song reminds us to take a minute and find rest in Christ because He is working in ways that we cannot imagine. 

   "Of this glorious unfolding
   We will watch and see and we will be amazed
   If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
   And hold on to every promise God has made to us
   We’ll see the glorious unfolding."

     This last chorus prompts us to be patient, to wait and see what the Lord will do in our lives and in our stories. When we let Him have control, when we step back and let Him take care of it, we will be mightily blessed.
   
     Here is the lyric video for the song: Steven Curtis Chapman - Glorious Unfolding (Official Lyric Video)

~Abby

                                                        Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret—it only causes harm.
~Psalm 37:5-8 (NKJV)




Thursday, December 10, 2015

Oh look, an update!

Oh my goodness, an update from Abby!

     I have not updated in almost a year?! I apologize. What's been going on in your lives? I'll give a brief update on mine and I'll share some blog news at the end...

     I have finished several semesters at Thomas Edison State College. I'm enjoying learning online and while it can be frustrating at times, it has been beneficial and exciting for the most part. It has forced me to discipline myself a lot more when it comes down to homework, studying, etc., which I cannot deny is a good thing.

     In the fall, I started up the girl's Bible study again: we meet every Monday (almost) and not only have I grown in my faith, but I have had some wonderful times with these girls. They are all uniquely beautiful, talented, and creative. Each of their stories are different and I am incredibly blessed to have just a tiny part in them.

     Also in the fall, I started up our church's after school program on Tuesday afternoons. We're a small group but we have a wonderful time. I have several adults from our church helping me and they have been sensational. I have had a few hiccups personally, but I think that's been nerves. Hopefully, with the Lord's help of course, it only gets better.

     This year has been tough. I dealt with situations regarding friends, family members, coworkers, etc., and it took a toll on me. I took most of my emotions and reactions out on myself and I was in a dark place for a long time. I had one person who knew what was going on almost the whole time and I don't know where I would have been if it wasn't for her prayers and support. Thank the Lord, when I was at my breaking point, He pulled me safe into His arms.  I struggle with many of those emotions and feelings still on a daily basis, but God is still good and He is in control. One of these days, maybe I will be ready to share the entire story.

     Now for the blog news- instead of my promising again to update more frequently, I'm going to only say that I will update when I can. Also, instead of this just being a random blog on the Internet of random instances of my life, I want to use this little platform as a way to share the light of Christ. So when I update (I will try!), I'll still include little details of my life, but the focus is turning from me to Him. The Lord has really been showing me that I need to use every opportunity to point others to Himself and to the best of my abilities, I shall try.

On that note, I shall say goodbye for now.
Blessings!
~Abby