New year - here we go!

   Dear readers, I'm not dead. I thought I had scheduled this post, but it turns out, I had only saved it in drafts. Please don't hate me. I love you all. Abby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Happy New Year readers! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season. This new year is going to be full of wonderful, new, challenging, and exciting things so jump in head first! Let God give you something new, a dream, an idea, and follow it wholeheartedly!

     It’s a new year. Wohoo! Party time! I am not really the person to make resolutions in the traditional sense, but I did have a few goals that I wanted to accomplish in 2018:

• Be kinder – I have a tendency to let whatever is going on in my life or head to get the better of me and affect the way I treat people. So I’m working on being a nicer, kinder human being: smile more at people, say “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” more, check in with people, listen to comprehend, not to just respond, etc. 

• Study my Bible (not just read it) – I have a tendency to just read something in my Bible or on my Bible app and move on. But this year I want to actually study it. I decided to go through some of the books of the Bible I don’t always read and really study them – I’ve started with Exodus and wow! So much good stuff in there! Maybe I’ll do a post on some of the things I’ve been learning. 

• Drink more water – This one is practical but I’ve been doing pretty good with it and I’m honestly feeling better. It’s kind of weird how just a few more glasses of water a day can have that much of an impact on you, but it’s true. My skin is also clearing up a little so that's a bonus.

• Get more sleep – Who doesn’t need more sleep? I honestly think I’m still catching up from college on my lack of sleep. Okay, I’m probably exaggerating here but sleeping more than 5 hours a night, I feel so much better. I’m averaging 6.5-7.5 hours which might be a little too much, but again, I’m feeling better, not getting as many headaches or migraines, etc. so yay!

• Take my vitamins – Another super practical one and I love it. I take a couple different vitamins for specific things as well as a multi vitamin, and again, I can tell the difference. I take a magnesium supplement a few times a week (I know I should take it every day, but I sometimes forget.), and that has been helping with a lot of the little headaches I get. 

• Journal, read, & write more – This one is in in connection with finishing school: I did a lot of reading and writing as a student but most of it was because I had and it was often something I did not want to read or cared about or a format I had to follow for writing a paper/thesis/etc. This year, I want to read genres I normally would not think about or authors I’ve never heard of and I’ve set a pretty high goal of 100 books in a year… so far I’ve started 3, finished 1. That’s okay too because I also decided that I wasn’t going to make myself finish a book if I didn’t enjoy it, since this is supposed to be enjoyable and not forced. I did enough of that in school (amiright college students?) The writing and journal-ing part is just to get better at expressing myself both in written and spoken format. Plus writing out all your feelings/emotions/reactions is good for the soul. 

• Eat better to be healthy – Okay, this was a reality check for me. I wanted to lose weight because who doesn’t? But I didn’t want that to be the reason I started to eat better because I knew it wouldn’t last. So instead, it became a lifestyle choice. Already eating gluten free, I decided a few months ago to try paleo. I like it. Well, some of it. Some of it was easy and some of it wasn’t. So I’ve compromised and I eat probably 60-70% paleo. I still put half & half or milk in my coffee and I still cook with certain oils or vinegars and I eat certain gluten free things like pasta or an occasional desert. And I still go out with people, but for me, it’s about making conscious decisions about what I’m eating and questioning how that food will make me feel. It’s sometimes hard, but good in the end. And I feel better in general. 

• Keep Christ first. Always. – This one is self- explanatory. Christ first. Always. No matter how hard. No matter what the cost. No matter the sacrifices. No matter who or what I gain or lose. Him first. 

     These a couple of the really practical ones I’m working on, as well as some other more personal and private ones, but what are you going to change this year? What are you doing to improve yourself? What dream has God given you to follow? How are you working on your relationship with Christ and others? What awesome things are you going to do in 2018?!

Abby

JOY

     Happy Christmas Season everyone!

     I keep being reminded to choose joy: from the Tuesday afternoon kids program at church, to my devotions, to my planner, to the decorations at my job... to constantly choose to be joyful, even in the midst of this insane thing called life.

     This is a crazy time of year, but honestly, it is my favorite. I love everything about the holiday season. But it is so easy to get hung up on the "holiday season" - shopping, traffic, nasty people, addressing cards, endless hours of running around, wrapping gifts, gatherings and parties, exhaustion, the credit card bills to follow, the weight gain from all the times you said "Well, just one."

     We get so stuck on all the stuff we dislike that we forget to enjoy it all, even the things that drive us crazy. Sitting in traffic gives you time to listen to more Christmas music; the more cards you address, the more people you can call friends and family; the endless gifts you have to wrap are ways to show people you care about them; all the parties and gatherings, and everything that goes with it, are reminders of how many wonderful people you love and have around you.

     Enjoy this beautiful season. It does not last very long. Appreciate every bit of this holiday time, even the parts you hate. Cherish those special times because the memories will last when those people or traditions are not around anymore.

     At the heart of the season is Jesus. "Jesus is the reason for the season!" The center of Christmas is Christ: the Son of God came down to be a Son of man. To live here and love and save us. Remember that this Christmas season.

     And choose joy.

Here's a question: do you read your Bible every day?

     Do you stand on the Word of God in your life? Is what the Lord says the standard by how you live daily? Here's a basic Sunday school type question: do you read your Bible every day?

     God's been working on me in this way & I have attempted to put in extra effort to actually doing it. Do I read the Word every day? Do I think about what it means and how to apply it? Do I remember it throughout the day? Do I truly believe what the Bible says is true and will not fail? Do I live with the faith that the Word of the Lord is perfect and cannot die?

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.

Matthew 24:35

Forever, O Lord,

Your word is settled in heaven.

Your faithfulness endures to all generations;

You established the earth, and it abides.

They continue this day according to Your ordinances,

For all are Your servants.

Unless Your law had been my delight,

I would then have perished in my affliction.

I will never forget Your precepts,

For by them You have given me life.

I am Yours, save me;

For I have sought Your precepts.

The wicked wait for me to destroy me,

But I will consider Your testimonies.

I have seen the consummation of all perfection,

But Your commandment is exceedingly broad.

Psalm 119:89-96

The voice said, “Cry out!”

And he said, “What shall I cry?”

“All flesh is grass,

And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it;

Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

But the word of our God stands forever.”

Isaiah 40:6-8

Do I live this way? If not, how can I?

~ Abby

I am a failure & disappointment.

     It is so easy to fail and it is so easy to feel like a failure or disappointment. We do it all the time... and honestly? It hurts like a stepping on a bunch of legos when we do. Many people say that failure is just a push to keep going, to reach for success, and that's true, but it still is failure in some way, shape, or form.

     I hate failing. I hate not doing my best or giving something everything I can. I hate when I do give it my all and I still fail. I got an 80 on an assignment during school once and cried because it lowered my grade by 2 points. I got a 90 on a piece of my thesis and I was so angry at myself, never mind anyone else. I fell asleep early one night instead of prepping for Bible hour that week like I should have. I slept past my alarm so I couldn't read my Bible like I had planned. I didn't feel like doing anything so I ignored everything on my to-do list. I gave into a temptation and felt guilty for hours. I was lazy and just watched Netflix for four hours instead of being productive. I would sit at work and not actually work. I didn't help my family, a friend, etc, when I could have easily. Being a disappointment to anyone is a fear I live with constantly.The list goes on and on...

     In one way or another, these were all failures, large or small, on my part. I was a bad Christian, student, friend, sister, daughter, employee, whatever, in those moments. I hate admitting to myself how I much I have failed. I hate showing other people that I have failed because my personality does not want be to do that - perfection is something I am not, nor do I want to appear that way, but I'd rather be imperfect in the "good" ways, instead of the real, honest, non-pretty ones.

     This list of my failures isn't exhaustive, but it is a good starting point. The worst part of it is the feelings after I've realized my mistake or laziness or lack of ____. It is hard to admit to myself more than anyone else that sometimes, I'm not good enough. Actually, I really am not good enough.

But, He is. 

     God is everything I'm not. He is perfect. He does not have failures. He never disappoints. Ever. He does not fail, even when we think He might. When it looks like He has failed or disappointed us, it is really our false expectation of Him. That's on us. But that is why I can lean on Him. My failures make me imperfect and some of those things I might never be able to change because I am human, but every failure is a reminder to trust in Him to not only change those things in me, but to trust in Him when I cannot change the things around me. "... your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48).

     I am not perfect. I will never be perfect on this earth. Accepting that is hard... hard is the wrong word - it is an indisputable, ruthless, unwavering fact that I must not only acknowledge, but accept that I will never be perfect. But not only do I lean on Someone who is, but that Someone will never leave me to try it alone. I will not be in this fight against myself and my sinful nature alone:

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.

What can man do to me?”" (Hebrews 13:5-6)

     I am not attempting to become perfect because I never will be. But I will ask the Lord to make me like Him who is perfect. I may never get there on this earth, but I am going through this world side by side with the One who is. When I fail, He will pick me up and be right there to keep me going. It's not in us to always be pushing ourselves. We cannot be the ones to always help ourselves back up. There is only so much self-motivating I can do before I begin to doubt myself and fail again. That is why I am grateful that I do not rely on myself, but on One who cannot disappoint, who cannot fail, who reminds me to be strong and courageous, to not be afraid or discouraged because He is on my side.

     Take courage today. Our failures do not mean that we are a failure. They are reminders to lean not on our own knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but to continue to trust and depend on our mighty, awesome, incredible Lord.

I'll leave you with these words from a hymn:

Have faith in God, He's on His throne,

Have faith in God, He watches o'er his own.

He cannot fail, He must prevail,

Have faith in God, have faith in God. - B. B. McKinney

~ Abby

It's not just salvation.

   This thought has been going through my heart the last few days... Being a Christian is not about just asking Christ to forgive your sins. Yes, that makes you saved, but you cannot be an example of Christ like we are called to be if you do not follow what the Bible says (Matthew 5:14-16; Psalm 1; James 4:17; Romans 12:1,2). Matthew 6:24 says it like this: No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money, possessions, fame, status, or whatever is valued more than the Lord]. (Amplified translation)

   Living for Christ should be the first priority in your life, over anything and everything else. Sometimes, we have to give everything up and we don't want to. We like where we live, what we do and say, how we act, who our friends are, our comfortable habits and activities. But that's not what living for God is. It's not just "Well I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 5 so I can do whatever now." Living for Christ is you living as an example of Him to others. Jesus met a young man who wanted to know what he should do to enter into heaven. Here's the story:

Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’” And he answered and said to Him, “Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.” Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me.” But he was sad at this word, and went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. (Mark 10:17-22)

   We have to make sacrifices. We cannot hold onto the things of this world and still serve the Lord completely. Does this mean that we have to sell everything, live in a shack, and be a missionary in a third-world country? Maybe. Maybe that's what He calls you to do. Maybe He wants you to give up a habit you have, or an activity that takes away your time. Maybe He wants you to stop having certain friends or watching or listening to certain things. Maybe all the free time you spend on your electronics could be sacrificed for something greater. Maybe you need to give more of your time, money, and effort to Christ. Belonging to Him requires an actual sacrifice on our part. We cannot live the way our selfish flesh wants to and still serve Him the way He wants us to. So what's more important to you?

   Sometimes, I feel like this is a topic that is discussed too much and people get tired of hearing it so they tune it out. But listen. If you want to truly, I mean honestly and seriously, live for the Lord and bring glory to His name and be a better witness, try giving something up that you really love. I mean really enjoy doing or saying or whatever. Think about it like this - Jesus gave up everything, the entire universe, Who He was, so that He could come down to this sin-filled, nasty, greedy world and save a bunch of rotten-to-the-core people who abandoned Him and treated Him like the dirt under their feet. Think about that and then look around you - what are you holding on to that you don't want to give up?

...If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me... (Luke 9:23)

   Following Christ isn't easy. People will not like you. They'll wonder why you don't do this or say that, or watch this movie or tv show, or listen to this music. They'll wonder why you're not dating this person or dressing this way or etc., etc., etc. That's the point. In the world but not of it (John 17:14-17). We're not supposed to be like everyone else and that requires something on our part. The Lord isn't going to change you if you don't want to change. 

   Maybe this is something you know God wants you to work on - if so, seek Him more. Maybe this is not something you struggle with but I know I do. My prayer in connection with this thought for myself is this: Lord, help me understand this better in my heart and mind. Strengthen my soul in Yourself and Your Word. Help me to know what I need to give up so all the glory goes to You alone. Through Jesus' name I pray, Amen. 

Blessings, 

Abby